🌻 “That’s a terrible idea. What time?” the grumpy housewife in curlers was complaining into a 1950s telephone on the greeting card from my mother. (Sidenote: My mother doesn’t write in the cards. On a post-it atop she scrawls, “Funny, right?” and suggests which friend I should send it to.)
Anyway, this card popped into my mind when I was invited to a dinner party that would require 10 hours round trip without traffic. But a summer gathering with friends who are about to have their 40th college reunion was too tempting to pass up. I once gave our hostess Karen a dish with the famous Marlene Dietrich quote that said “It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” These were dish-worthy people.
So thirteen of us gathered from near and far (one from Rome). As soon as the last of us arrived, we bounced across the Long Island Sound--four of us wound up wearing Kathy’s Coors Light. After a swim, we hightailed back to cocktail hour and tuna tartare on crispy rice with an eye-stinging (but necessary) jalapeno, guac and salty chips. Later we gathered at a long table with white roses and purple hydrangea where we feasted on kale salad, grilled veggies, steak and Karen’s zippy shishito peppers and chicken (recipe below).
“Melina, would you like some purple teeth?” asked our host Tom, lapping the table to pour chalices of the cabernet that cost more than my entire outfit. As I held out my glass, it occurred to me that old friends are like faded jeans. There is nothing more classic or comfortable. They just fit. I would happily drive 20 hours to be asked if I wanted purple teeth.
We updated each other about our adulting kids and how we couldn’t seem to get them off our family phone plans, we laughed about near misses in the dorms, and talked about this next stage of life where we are all rewiring instead of retiring. We toasted the friend who died suddenly of a heart attack way too young.
Eventually we floated to the pool deck while people took turns DJ’ing 80s tunes. (Tom doesn’t realize music was made after the 80s.) Then one friend appeared with a cutting board loaded with shot glasses and Cynar, an artichoke liqueur that smelled like garbage bags. Suz nonchalantly tossed hers in the bushes. The rest of us were polite guests. Fortunately this was a slumber party, less fortunately there was a fire alarm ripping through the house a few hours later at 5:30 am. It was false. The Cynar, however, was real. The evening was, obviously, the highlight of our summer.
There is nothing like the friends who pass Esquire writer Ross McCammon’s Two Beers and a Puppy test.
1. Would you want to have two beers with them?
2. Would you trust them with your new puppy for a weekend?
The beverage measures enjoyment, and the fur baby measures trust. This was the yes/yes group. Everyone showed up and had more than two beers (if not purple teeth). Everyone was just themselves.
So here’s my best advice to you and my future self:
Always say yes to the invitations that matter, because the meaningful memories live on the backside of the schlep. The next time a wildly inconvenient invitation comes your way, flex your new RSVP policy and say, “That’s a terrible idea. What time?”
🌻 🌻 Task: Whose purple teeth would you love to see? Text the group thread and propose a date and time.
🌻🌻🌻Bonus: Karen’s Shishito Pepper Recipe
VINAIGRETTE
1 large shallot, finely chopped
1 cup fresh lime juice
Kosher salt, freshly ground pepper
½ cup toasted sesame oil
½ cup vegetable oil
¼ cup soy sauce
2 tablespoons honey or maple syrup
CHICKEN
3 pounds chicken breasts (we say bosoms because it’s funnier)
Kosher salt, freshly ground pepper
1½ cups shishito peppers
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 red jalapeño or Fresno chile, thinly sliced
1½ cups mixed tender herbs (such as mint, cilantro, and / or basil)
Preparation
Make the vinaigrette
In a large jar or medium bowl, combine the shallot and lime juice. Season with salt and pepper, then let sit for 10 minutes.
Add the sesame oil, vegetable oil, soy sauce, and honey. Cover and shake (or whisk) until well combined.
Season the sesame-lime vinaigrette with additional salt and pepper to taste.
Make ahead: The vinaigrette can be made up to 1 week in advance. Cover and refrigerate. Shake well before serving.
Chicken and assembly
Season the chicken with salt and black pepper.
Place the chicken in a large resealable plastic bag and pour in 1 cup of the vinaigrette.
Seal the bag and turn it to coat the chicken evenly.
Refrigerate for at least 2 hours, or up to 1 day.
Preheat a grill to medium heat.
Grill the chicken, turning occasionally, until the bosoms are evenly charred and cooked through, 8–15 minutes.
While the chicken grills, toss the peppers with the 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil and a pinch of salt. Grill until blistered and charred in spots, 3-4 minutes, tossing once.
Pile the chicken and peppers onto a platter, scatter the herbs and sliced chile over everything and spoon the remaining vinaigrette on top.
Transfer the cooked chicken to a platter and serve.
🌻 A question to carry into the weekend 🌻
Who are your faded jeans in your closet of friends? What do you like best about them? How can you see those qualities in yourself?
P.S. I love hearing from readers! Please tell me in the comments what you think or if you’ve had a similar experience. (And if you’re so included, hit the heart button—it helps Apothecary find its people.
Loved it. Totally agree. - it’s worth the trip!
A gem in my day 😍